by Greg Lincoln
Sometimes it’s a song with words that remind us, or a photo, or just how the sun sets. Last week’s we spoke about how it felt like to lose someone precious to us. Here are some more of our thoughts that Kelly and I wanted to share. Everywhere we go we have been receiving hugs and condolences – including from folks who have gone through the same trauma, thank you for your kindness and understanding of what we are experiencing. It has helped us, quyana.
When our beloved left this earthly world that is only our temporary home, part of us also went away to a place that we do not know. It is a strange unexplainable thing, but that is what it seems like. When part of us left, things that we used to enjoy doing held no more sway over us. Our favorite pastimes became meaningless. Our likes became as nothing.
This feeling of not being whole is always lurking on the inside, underneath the smiles and the outward appearance of being okay. The tiniest tasks are like mountains. Everyday things that we used to do such as going to the post office or to the store became unbearable.
Friends and loved ones who know because they have gone through this very same thing have said that this is only for a while – each and every one who knows have said that the pain will pass with time. Can’t we get better right now? How do you pick up the pieces of a former life and still be the same?
The emotional strain of our grieving is hard on the body. The tired helpless feelings, not knowing that you are dehydrated until someone tells you to drink some water. We both are healthy and strong but our human weakness fails us. There is often unrelenting fatigue, it is hard to sleep, and there is a constant aching of the need to hold our baby. There is deep inconsolable sadness, it is hard to share in others’ joys.
If you are feeling like this, we do have some advice. Do not try to find comfort or peace in harmful substances such as drugs or alcohol. That is the worst thing you could do to yourself and to your loved ones. Instead look for comfort in those who love and care for you and in our Lord.
We realize that we cannot be and should not be self-centered, like the universe should revolve around us. We still have each other and our loved ones to take care of, our beautiful loving pets who depend on us and give us their warm comfort, and you – our friends which we are forever grateful and thankful for. We are looking forward to the day when we can smile again at the memories and cherish them with our loved ones.
Quyana, thank you so much for your prayers and thoughtfulness to us, it means a lot and is something we will always remember. Please continue to pray for our family and for those who are also bereaved and grieving.