by Tad Lindley
At least that’s what they used to read. Nowadays it seems like a lot of them have replaced the word “romance” with the words “sex life”. If you’ve never seen them, they are near the checkout of most big grocery stores. I have always thought of them as women’s magazines, but by the half-naked female models on the cover, you might think they were trying to sell them to men.
An article like that really doesn’t interest me. I’ve got a book at home that I think has scooped all of these lonely housewife gossip type magazines. Here are a few tips that I have gleaned from my Book.
Tip Number One: Get Married
A lot of readers are living together unmarried. That is completely against God’s plan for you. Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall become one flesh. (Genesis 2:24) The very first couple was married. In the New Testament we are commanded to flee fornication (sex outside of marriage). (I Corinthians 6:18) In fact, unless we repent of it, we cannot make it to heaven. (I Corinthians 6:9-10)
Tip Number Two: Men, Don’t Live With Mom
God has asked men to leave their home of birth, and live with their wife. Therefore shall a man leave his father and mother and shall cleave unto his wife…Psychologists may disagree with me on this, but it is usually easier for a woman to get along with her mother than with her mother-in-law. Men tend to be less particular about such things. But regardless of the reason, the Biblical model is for the man to leave his parents. Spice up your romance: move out of your mom’s house.
Tip Number Three: Have Sex
Perhaps people have confused religion with the Bible. Some religions have taught that sex was a forbidden or dirty thing. Others have forbidden people to marry. They were not preaching from the same book I am. The Lord wants married couples to have sex, and not just for the sake of having children. Read this with me: Do not deprive each other except by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer… (I Corinthians 7:5 NIV) If you want to spice up your romance, do not let other things interfere with your sex life except for prayer and fasting.
Tip Number Four: One Man and One Woman
The Bible is extremely clear about this fact. The marriage bed is not to be defiled. (Hebrews 13:4) There is no such thing as an “open marriage” in the kingdom of God. If you want to improve your romance, flirting must only be done with your spouse. Men, never discuss your marital problems with another woman and vice versa. There is nothing that satisfies like a monogamous undefiled lifetime relationship between a husband and a wife. If you want to spice up your marriage, live like you believe this.
Tip Number Five: Wives, submit…,
Men don’t even read this if you aren’t going to follow tip number six. I present this carefully. Some men may wish to completely control their wives. When the Bible tells us: Wives submit yourselves to your husbands, as unto the Lord (Ephesians 5:22), it means that the man has been chosen as the leader in the family. The husband’s decisions are final. If he is a good leader he will seek to make sure he has his wife’s support in decision-making. If a woman has wisely chosen her husband, this should not be a problem. Regardless, ladies, if you want to spice up your marriage, let your husband lead.
Disclaimer: the scripture is not telling women to be a punching bag for a drunken boxer.
If you are in a dangerous situation like that, get help now.
Tip Number Six: Husbands, Love Your Wives…
A man must go out of his way to love his wife. Simply eating the food she puts before you and then grunting is not enough. Husbands love your wives even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it. So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies… (Ephesians 5:25, 28) If you want to spice up your marriage, start loving your wife even when it is inconvenient. Instead of rushing off to basketball after dinner, make yourself sit down and visit with her. Purposely put off things that she knows you enjoy in order to spend time with her instead. Then when you are too old to play ball, she will still be there for you.
Reader, you may feel that it is impossible that you will ever have a joyful marriage. Try the Biblical suggestions I have outlined above. The Lord gave them for our own benefit. The Bible says these words. When all else fails, tie a knot in this scripture and hang on, God will bless you: Jesus said unto him, If thou canst believe, all things are possible to him that believeth. (Mark 9:23)
Tad Lindley is a minister at the United Pentecostal Church in Bethel, AK.