by Greg Lincoln
Dear friends and readers, quyana for your encouragement to our family while we continue on week after week after the devastating loss of our precious child. You are always on our minds and how much we appreciate the prayers that you send up to heaven for us.
Nothing in the world, no earthly experience, or any amount of talking or teaching, or anything could have prepared us for this grievous loss.
Sometimes it is so hard to keep the tears at bay when we are talking with folks in public. The tears are so close, so ready to burst through that fragile dam that holds them back. It takes all of our willpower to keep them in until we are safely in our cars or alone at home. Sometimes we give in and weep.
We have heard and read of people who are grieving, people from our own communities and villages who hold back this flood until they feel they are safe to let it go. They go through their day at work or school and then when they get home the floodgates break forth. Our hearts go out to you – we are going through the same pain and the exact same thing. Maybe that is why we sometimes despise going out into public so much because at any moment we could lose it when we are trying so hard to keep it together.
There was one time when Kelly got a hug from the sweetest little girl who is named after our daughter. In our Yup’ik culture we name our little ones after those who have passed on. It keeps their memories alive and it helps us to share our love. When she hugged her she didn’t want to let go, she wanted to hold her longer but had to let go too soon because the tears were starting to build and if she had held her any longer, it would have been too late. Holding her was like holding our sweet daughter, in our Yup’ik way.
Sometimes we just have to hold those tears back.
If you think about it, bereavement is a journey that we must all take sooner or later. But sometimes, for some of us, it is a sad pathway that has come too soon.
Remembering our loss, which is all the time, is deeply affecting. It permeates our days and our nights. We know that death does not have the final word, we know. We know that we can grieve but to grieve with hope. This hope is the promise that we will see our beloved one again when all things come to an end, when time ceases and all things are made new.
To you who are grieving with us, for us, and for your own loved ones – let us grieve with hope. We can still cry and sob and weep with all that our broken hearts can cry, as long as we remember that longed-for hope, that blessed promise that helps us to keep going.
Tangrutenqigciiqukut.
We will see each other again.
Thank you Lord for that beautiful, unshakeable, everlasting and sincere hope.
Today is a good day. Quyana for your loving kindness and prayers. How much more bearable is our burden with your prayers and blessings hovering around us day and night. Please extend your thoughts to those who are poor and suffering from their own losses. Thank you for your care.
