by Dr. Lorin Bradbury
Question: I don’t have a question to respond to, but I have had many people ask about the dry-drunk syndrome. So, over the next few weeks, I will delve into each of the identified characteristics in more detail.
A dry drunk is someone who has quit drinking or drugging but continues to manifest behaviors of alcoholism or drug addiction. In essence, the individual has not made the necessary emotional changes that should characterize sobriety.
Being an alcoholic or drug addict sets up many thought patterns, attitudes, feelings, and actions that are immature. You might think of it as an arrested state of perpetual adolescence. Simply removing the alcohol or drugs without changing these underlying factors produces the dry drunk syndrome. It’s often those around the non-drinking alcoholic or non-using drug addict that recognize a lack of progress toward recovery or a reversion back to the old ways of thinking and acting.
For some who have made progress, the dry drunk state can be a precursor to a relapse. Some of the symptoms of a dry drunk state are restlessness, irritability, moodiness, and general discontent. Below are some of the attitudes common with the dry drunk syndrome as described in substance abuse treatment literature. I will begin with self-centeredness.
Self-centeredness: This is adolescence at any age. It describes an attitude in which “the world revolves around me.” There are other terms that you may hear used when people speak about self-centeredness such as self-serving, egocentric and selfish. A person in a dry-drunk state possesses a sense of entitlement. “I am entitled to act this way.” This intense self-focus results in very little consideration for those around them. The focus is on self-gratification. “How can my needs, wishes, and desires be met.”
The result is loved one’s around that person experiencing feelings of being used and abused. The dry drunk provides no mutual support as would be present in a healthy relationship. Loved ones are emotionally abandoned as the dry drunk demands more and more focus on meeting the needs of self. This is very risky territory because the dry drunk is only one step away from relapse. Unfortunately, family members continue walking on eggshells, just as they did when the dry drunk was actively drinking hoping to prevent a relapse.
If while reading this, you recognize this characteristic, I encourage you to reach out for help either from an addiction specialist, or through AA or another similar self-help group. If you have a loved one who is stuck in this state of perpetual adolescence, encourage them to get help. To live in a dry-drunk stated is to live in misery. There is a better way. Face your fears and let others help you.
Lorin L. Bradbury, Ph.D. is a licensed psychologist in private practice in Bethel. For appointments, he can be reached at 543-3266. If you have questions that you would like Dr. Bradbury to answer in the Delta Discovery, please send them to The Delta Discovery, P.O. Box 1028, Bethel, AK 99559, or e-mail them to [email protected].
