by Greg Lincoln
The things that we do while we are grieving are really for us, for our own healing of the mind and heart. We believe with all our being that we are doing them for our dearly departed, but since they are asleep, we are really doing it for our own selves, to make ourselves feel better, to do whatever we can while we are still here that pushes us on.
Instead of doing nothing and letting time and the elements take their toll, we tend to the resting places of our loved ones. A friend told us that that is their resting place, their temporary home, until we are called, until the trumpet blows and the end is near.
We visit to yearn and to show our love, our enduring devotion, it is the lot that we have been destined to bear. It is the saddest moments of our day, when it becomes real but we do it together. Strength is drawn from each other.
This grief comes in waves, sometimes it is like how small ripples lap upon the shore in rhythmic motion. Sometimes it comes like a raging tempest, crashing upon the rocks, eroding them down until all is lost to the sea of sorrow. This sea of sorrow is made up of all the endless tears that we have cried for our beloved. Other times the grief is like the calm before the storm.
You are the master of your grief. When the storm rages inside you take a deep breath and close your eyes, trying your best to push back against that force building up within. Sometimes the strain shows on your face, the tears threaten to spill, but somehow you build up that dam of sheer will and hold back the power that wishes to overcome your resolve.
Your eyes clear, more deep breaths, relax and do what you have to do.
Where do you get the strength to hold back the flood? Floods cannot be held back, but yet you find the will to divert them.
Strength can be found in many things. Usually it comes from others, something distracting, something that you like, and that helps immensely.
Sometimes we seem to forget for a split second, a moment, and we are able to laugh and to socialize with others around us, talking and asking a million questions. The key word is others. That moment when everything seems okay, but then you are reminded of something that you are bereaved and how could you have forgotten so easily?
Memories nearly forgotten are brought back, that is what grief does. You and I could write a thousand books about this journey in this vast domain of grief.
What are we? A wisp of wind, a speck of dust, a single drop in this ocean of time? Do we really matter? Yes, we matter, and that is why we must do everything in our strength and power to pursue the things that we need to pursue, to make those dreams that once filled our heads important again, to make them worthwhile.
Please continue to pray for those who are struggling with loss and the fatigue that comes with it. Let us work through this even though it is hard, quyana.