Man Tells His Knee, “What’s Wrong With You? Loser!”

by Tad Lindley

My left knee bothers me quite a bit lately. I have no one to blame but me. I ran to the airport from the house with my Georgia Boot shoes on and somehow wrecked it. Now I’m trying to keep my knee going, because I need it to feed my family and to keep the house warm. Therefore I baby my knee and I don’t run on it when it hurts and I try to jump mainly on my right side when I’m in church. I even got a knee brace. I’ll probably smear Crisco on it and keep it elevated in the steambath tonight. You see, I love my knee, and I want it to heal.

What’s wrong with you? Loser!

But imagine that it was just the opposite. Imagine that when my knee started acting up I started punching it. Or maybe I started trying to shame it into healing by telling it, “Quit being a loser! You’re a stupid knee!” Maybe I would try to compare it to other people’s knees, “Why can’t you be like Michael Jordan’s left knee? You don’t see him limping around like a three-legged mule!” And when all that doesn’t stop the hurting, I could just get downright vicious, “You deserve to be hurt!” And then follow it up with Facebook posts like, “My knee is so cheap it gives out on me after only a quarter into the game.” I might even put pictures of titanium knee replacements up on my Instagram with thinly veiled threats like, “If my knee messes up one more time, it’s over!” Or a one word Tweet, a picture of my left knee in a brace and the single word, “Loser.” And then pretend for a moment that whenever I went to work or to church I would look at other men’s left knees and daydream about what life would be like if I could only get rid of my left knee and have their knee transplanted onto my leg.

It’s not about the knee

That would be crazy. You would think, “Brother Lindley needs to call Dr. Bradbury for some serious mental health services!” But this column is not really about my knee or your knee, or even about Michael Jordan’s knee. I am writing about marriage. You see if I replaced the words “left knee” in the paragraphs above with “wife” and the word “it” with “her” or “she”, then it might not seem as crazy, because now suddenly I’m getting in somebody’s business. No man between here and Russia would ever punch their knee, because it hurt, but our police and VPSOs are overworked by men whose wives are hurt and maybe acting out and instead of pampering them, they punch them. Facebook is thick with wives who get on and cruelly shame their husbands, laying the man’s weaknesses out for everyone on the planet to see. We would never dream of doing that to our knee would we?

It’s about your wife

The Bible gives this directive to husbands everywhere, So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself. For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church. (Ephesians 5:28-29) We should treat our wives as a part of our body. When they hurt us, instead of lashing out at them, we need to respond tenderly. We need to stop ourselves when anger rises up within us and think, “Wait, if this was my knee being uncooperative with me, would I get physically or verbally abusive with it?”

For the wives

Men do not crave their wife’s love as much as they crave respect. Look at what the Bible teaches. Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband. (Ephesians 5:33) True, maybe he is not the perfect husband, but look for ways that you can praise him. Find ways to brag about him on Facebook. It could be something as simple as letting all your FB friends know what a great steam he made for you tonight, or how he always make sure you have your favorite foods. Let him overhear you telling your children about their dad’s strong points.

What if they don’t deserve it?

In many dysfunctional marriages, the husband does not love his wife, and the wife does not reverence her husband. If you ask the husband why he doesn’t treat the wife with love, he has a long list of grievances. She will tell you from here to tomorrow what a loser her husband is and how he doesn’t deserve an ounce of respect. It is a vicious cycle, and it will never end until the more mature of the two decides to stop it. It stops when we decide to grow up and be obedient to God’s word. Husbands, love your wives, wives, respect your husbands, even in their imperfection, for this is the will of God.

Reverend Tad Lindley is a minister at the United Pentecostal Church in Bethel, Alaska.

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