Grief does not fade

by Greg Lincoln

Defense mechanisms are things that you do when you are faced with anxiety and pain, and are known to be done unconsciously. We talked a little about this a couple of issues ago. It is something that we can continue to talk about.

Throughout life we should expect to experience loss even though that may seem ludicrous to some. I know it was to us. Loss can be traumatic and painful and can involve illness, injury, losing a job, moving, financial struggles, and even losing someone that we love that is close to us.

This type of loss is something that no one is ever prepared for. If we are so destined, sometimes the loss is expected and you have that slight cushion of awareness and understanding. Loss is a common factor in our lives, it determines how our lives are shaped.

To this day, we still find ourselves shielding ourselves from situations or activities that may have the potential of being unpleasant due to our ongoing grieving. Do you ever find yourself doing that?

Although death may sometimes make us feel like we are abandoned, we are not.

Grief experts have said that when the pain of grief starts to fade that your thinking becomes sharper and your judgment returns to its normal reliable state. You even can concentrate more. We are still deciding about these for our own selves, but for you we hope that you are progressing along towards healing and have achieved all these things.

And then there is Complicated Grief, which is the prolonged state of deepest sorrow and pain where all you think about is your loved one and how much you long for them. The pining, wanting, yearning is everlasting and everlasting without end. Can you still have a clear sharp mind in the midst of complicated grief? Yes, I think you can – you must. What about your judgment? I believe that bereavement opens the eyes and hearts and makes one more empathetic to the plight of others and this helps you make the decisions that you need to make.

As for concentration, there is a time and place for everything, and so there is a time and place to call upon your mind and with your strength focus on the things that you need to do at the time it is needed. As humans, we are capable of doing this, I don’t doubt it.

Bereavement can produce in our minds question after question, thought after thought that produces new contemplations, and this can go on and on and on. Our mind is like a battlefield of thoughts. Only the Lord knows and with faith comes trust and when you have trust you have hope.

Grief does not fade, if it did, then our love has run dry. What can we do? We can continue to pray for others even if we do not know them. Just as you have done for us, thank you friends.