A Special Day

photo by Greg Lincoln

by Greg Lincoln

Today is your birthday. We miss you every minute, every second of our waking moments. You are constantly in our thoughts, in our minds, in our hearts. Our love for you will never diminish, in fact, it grows with each passing day. Love bears all things and love never fails.
Love is also patient. We are patiently waiting each day until we are together again. Love also always protects. We will protect and preserve ourselves in hopes and trust that we will be with you some sweet morning and hold you forever in our arms. Love always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.
If we do not have love, we gain nothing.
These thoughts have been with us and have grown since the passing of our beloved daughter. They have grown because she is all we think about. When a special day or holiday comes it always is hard to bear. The changes are not our normal way and we are forced to do the inevitable, which is to make it as best as we can.
How can we still celebrate our holidays? First, we must think of each other, our loved ones, and our children. That thought alone should be something, something enough to move you and to stir up in you the love you have for those of us that are still here.
Holidays and special occasions are usually time spent with loved ones. Don’t we all love to get together to eat, talk, and spend time with each other? In mourning or in peace, we all need our friends and loved ones around us. You can still enjoy a special day, even just a little bit, even though you are grieving. The pain of loss will always be with us.
People who have experienced loss of a loved one have been known to eventually enjoy holidays again. If you had told us this a few months ago, we would not have believed it was possible. It would seem like a ridiculous incomprehensible thing. Time is a healer. But for some who are in deep mourning from sadness of bereavement, time does not matter. That is another characteristic of Complicated Grief. Your grief does not fade or weaken with the passing of time.
Some may say that it is time for you to move on. I know folks mean well when they say this, they want you to be happy. Only when you are ready and you decide to, you can move on. What is moving on? I don’t know because our loss and bereavement will be forever with us until it is our turn to go, to fall asleep until the trumpet sounds. Our loss has shaken us so badly, shattered our hopes and dreams, and changed how we are. We have learned to live with each passing day, existing on the hope that we will see her again.
We are so thankful for that hope. Hope makes us keep going forward.
If you have been experiencing Complicated Grief for over a year where your intense grief has not improved, it might be helpful to see a doctor or counselor. Let us send good thoughts and prayers to those who are experiencing grief, sadness, pain, despair. If we can help even just one person, it will be worth it. Quyana for your care.
To our beautiful loving daughter, we love you and we honor you on this day, the day you were born, the day you came into this world. We thank the Lord for giving us to you, for letting us be your family.