The power of a kind word

by Greg Lincoln

Grief experts who have studied the loss of a child have attempted to put into words and even stages what we are experiencing and they have many different explanations. As we continue forth on this journey, on this walk of bereavement, here are some things that we would like to share in addition to what already has been said:

One, we cry every single day. Not one day goes by when we do not shed tears for our beloved. The tears spring anew when we are thinking, ruminating, about all that has happened. Mostly they come from missing the physical presence of her. We wish so badly to hold her close, to smell and breathe in deeply the sweetness of her hair and her skin like we do to all of our babies, to hear her voice, to see her smile, to make her laugh, to feed her and to shower her with love, and to share in her joys. Now those things we can only experience in our dreams which we have no control over. They come as they please if they come at all.

Lord, send me a dream of her.

The tears also come from what is never going to be, the future that now will never come, the dreams that we had looked forward to are now dashed to pieces and will never be the same as what we had wanted.

Second, we have learned that time, as slow as it can be, continues on and little by little we are able to do the things that we once did. For this we are so thankful. Each thing we accomplish is like a breakthrough, a liberation. It makes us feel better, thank you Lord.

Third, it helps to talk about our feelings to our closest loved ones. Each night Kelly and I whisper to each other what is inside our hearts and we find comfort in sharing our deepest innermost thoughts.

Talking with others is also healing, it is like spreading a new layer of emotion that covers the previous emotions that you had been feeling. It is like when you are feeling the emotion of sadness and then a friend cheers you up and that first feeling of sadness is covered with a layer of something else – consolation, yes. That is what it is. When you console us with your kind words and expressions of love it makes us feel better – thank you so much for this to you, our dearest friends. This strength is tangible. We then are able to apply it to the tasks that need to be done, and we can share it with our loved ones.

Talking about our grief these past months has given us a way to express our feelings, thank you for allowing us to do this thing. Have we run dry? No, it still goes on. This realm of grief is vast and the boundaries are distant. So please extend a kind word to each one you meet. Remember, they are fighting a battle or many battles that we do not know about. Oh the power of a kind word – it is a most wonderful gift you can give to someone who is hurting, sad, bereaved, longing, or ill. Quyana for your prayers.

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