Complicated grief

photo by Greg Lincoln

by Greg Lincoln

Last week we talked a little about our elders. Since then, we have had other thoughts that we would like to include. As an elder grieves, we think of the many times they have suffered, the countless losses, and the many years upon years that they have borne their silent grief. They have known sorrow like we are now experiencing. We may think that their hearts have hardened with age and time, but it is not so. Their hearts are still soft and tender.
For every thing that happens in life, you can find wisdom and knowledge in our elders. They do possess more life experiences and have seen how situations turn out. Sometimes when an elder is in mourning, they shed no tears. Even with the absence of tears and elder can be crying inside. How dear and precious they are!
A constant companion in this journey that we have destined to trod has been our daughter’s faithful puppy. He has a job and a purpose and he does these all so willingly. How can a living creature love so unconditionally and completely? He gives love so freely. He and others of his kind are born with this amazing natural, innate instinct to give love and it helps our bereaved hearts, to help us feel better when we are feeling not so well, and to help us keep moving, move move move, all the time.
When we are sad, they can sense our pain. They offer us their comfort by being there for us. How many times have we found a sense of security and safety from the presence of our beloved pets? Thank you Lord for such a wonderful gift. This gift gives back a hundred, a thousand, a millionfold.
If you are suffering from bereavement, do you still question if life after loss can be happy or if we can still allow ourselves to feel joy? Can we even imagine living a satisfying life after such a loss? When we have questions like these, this grief that we are bearing may have turned into complicated grief.
Complicated grief is when something interferes with the way we cope with our grief that comes from the loss of a loved one. It is when your shattered heart cannot heal because you are dealing with issues that invade your mind and thoughts and you find yourself in that dark place. These issues that complicate the healing of our wounded beings is complicated grief.
As human beings, we are gifted from our Creator with a resiliency that defies comprehension. The resiliency to overcome our grief successfully and to find and adjust to a different future, a new normal. We just are. But when complicated grief is present, this ability is hindered, stopped, prevented, stalled.
This kind of grief, complicated grief, is more common than we know. There are those who have it, and some may be right here in our midst.
Grief of bereavement is one common thread that binds us together, it surrounds us like the air we breathe, it runs deep and none are untouched. And we have the choice to do something about it. We can be there for those who are in need of a friend. We can pray for them. That is not too hard to do, is it? Quyana for being a friend.

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